Hey gentlefolk! George here, I’m actually trying to structure this well/competently as well as get it all finished today (thank you adorable perfect A/B/O fanfiction that I read this morning)
Disclaimer: not everything mentioned in this will apply to every single A/B/O AU, Iβm simply documenting the common ones, or the ones Iβve seen pop up most regularly, if there is one you wish me to take a look at, feel free to comment Also you can pick and choose which aspects of A/B/O you want to incorporate into your own scenes/lifestyle thereβs no strict rule book
Some basic interpretations
A brief outline, if you donβt know what A/B/O is I’ll be talking about it more generally in an upcoming post about Pet/Puppy play, Iβll just repeat the basic defining roles and features of each role, also I capitalise Alpha and Omega because they are D/S titles as well as trope genders, I suppose one could capitalise Alpha and not Omega, similar to how some subs capitalise their dominants title but not their own. It is my own preference that my Alpha is also my Dominant.
β’Alpha: the “dominant” secondary gender, most Alphas have one defining feature; a knot (alike to a dog or wolf) and can usually impregnate both Omegas and Betas but not other Alphas. An Alpha can be of any gender and depending on the author’s specifics may or may not have a rut (the Alpha version of a heat)
β’Beta: the most “human/normal” of the genders if we’re following the secondary gender = werewolf trope. The Beta is almost like the switch I suppose, they don’t have a knot but they do have a womb (from what I can gather). A Beta can also be of any primary gender.
β’Omega: the “submissive” secondary gender, Omegas generally don’t get treated great (or they get treated like royalty in cases in which they are rare usually, two extremes am I right?) They have wombs to bear kids (even the males) and they have heats, basically periods of being unbearably hot and needing to have release lol. (side note: there are some AUs which male Omegas are rare but they arenβt in my personal head canon, so yes they can be rare, but I wonβt really be describing them as so in this blog post)
The real life role of the Omega
β’Weβre talking Omegas first because I identify as one, in pup play and otherwise (I canβt find an official kink term for A/B/O/Omegaverse, if anyone knows of one, hit me up) and because as an Omega, I feel like I can give you a pretty good suggestion as to how to manifest this fanfic trope in real life kink (I understand A/B/O has some ties with primal play so I suppose Iβd tentatively describe it as a sub branch of primal play, I hesitate to say it with certainty because I donβt know enough about primal play so link it with certainty, although maybe Iβll pen a discussion piece about the links in the future) Edit; A/B/O could be considered part of Autozoophilia if you squint hard enough, because of the instinct/animal based behaviours in A/B/O
β’Before I can share my ideas on how to make A/B/O somewhat of a reality (role play or lifestyle dynamic) we must first discuss the characteristics of an Omega, strap on in folks.
β’(following characteristics are simply typical, please be the Omega, you want to be!)
β’An Omega is; Shy, Possessive (in my opinion equally as much as an Alpha), Nurturing (are we beginning to see the how ye olde instinct based Omega portrayals are?), Cute, Hesitant, Anxious, Soft, Strong/wilful, Obedient β’(Although I love nonconventional A/B/O itβs a little easier to navigate irl because you can do what you want if youβre not following typical A/B/O behaviours/tropes)
β’So when thinking about this, the kinda relationship between Alpha/Omega is somewhere between Dominant/Submissive and Spousal, there is likely a scale in which you can identify pretty easily (if you read Omegaverse fics) where you are, typically if you prefer the fluff/soft heat aftercare kind of fics youβre more spousal/romantic on the scale and if you prefer the smut, full kink mode and all then youβre more on the D/S side, if you like both then youβre an ideal lifestyle candidate (I like both)
β’How can you incorporate these attributes into irl A/B/O: pretty easily actually, its all about your submissive persona and even if your sub isnβt naturally that way you can roleplay it, thereβs no rules with this, if youβre considering being a lifestyler than these attributes should probably come naturally to you but like I previously mentioned if they donβt thatβs just dandy, non-conventional may be more comfy for you or you can just adapt the dynamic with your Alpha and sort things so that they make sense for the two of you.
β’Trope: Nesting
β’Real life application: Okay this is my favourite thing to do ever. Nesting is a part of A/B/O in which the Omega (who is usually either pregnant or about to go into heat) makes a nest/pile of soft things, like blankets, clothes, and the nest is used to make them feel secure, sometimes its used for heats (Iβm sure you donβt need an elaboration on that) and nesting is the easiest Omega thing to do, just gather as many materials as possible and set them up where ever youβd like (my nest is a profound source of pride for me and Iβm super protective of it) Nesting is an excellent way to get into Omega space (Omega headspace/frame of mind)
Typical Omega behaviours you can utilise
β’Presenting: presenting is the idea that when in heat, or in general an Omega has the option to present themselves to an Alpha to βseduceβ the Alpha into sexual contact, presenting can also be a method of comforting when looked at specifically in the presenting of the neck (wherein lies the scent/mating gland) Typical sexual presenting includes face to the floor posterior in the air or back on the floor legs open.
β’ Coverings: this is a less common one I believe but still one Iβve seen nonetheless, the idea is that an Omegaβs neck is for their Alpha, their scent and it is the place where the claim/bonding/mating bite of their Alpha should lie, a fun idea may be to cover your neck with a scarf or a similar garment just to preserve yourself for your Alpha, of course this should be negotiated just like any other rule of any D/S relationship.
β’Marking: this is a common behaviour for Alpha and Omega both, both genders have possessive as a common trait and therefore love bites are a really good way to assert possession and dominance over your partner, bites, scratches are also more primal ways of marking.
β’Providing: this is another one that applies to both Alpha and Omega, way in which a you could βprovideβ for your mate is through cooking, cleaning, sewing (anything kind of motherly I suppose), an important part of A/B/O is proving your potential as a mate
β’Clinginess: this is my favourite Omega behaviour, Omegas are often portrayed as needy/clingy, cuddle with your Alpha, let them spoil you a bit, its an easy beneficial way to play your part and who doesnβt like being paid attention.
The real life role of the Alpha
β’Iβd like to state as an Omega that my Alpha talk may be very based on what I look for in an Alpha, Iβll try my best to include every part of an Alpha that I can think of.
β’An Alpha is; dominant (in most things they do), protective, possessive, more angular in their features (its necessary to mention that the Omega secondary gender is very similar to the stereotypical female primary gender just as the Alpha gender is similar to the stereotypical male primary gender), soft/gentle, polite, respectful
β’How can you incorporate these attributes into irl A/B/O: again, as previously stated with my paragraph on Omegas itβs a lot to do with your dominant persona and a lot to do with having knowledge of how Alphas behave in fanfiction, my best advice for Alphas is to read a few different fanfictions (with differing Alpha interpretations) and then to form an Alpha persona based on, whilst Omega portrayal is pretty straightforward, Alpha portrayals are more complex and can differ a lot based on what kind of ship or rating the fic has.
β’A good example of this is Overcoming (A Victorian style Hannigram fic) in which Hannibal (the Alpha) is strict and harsh initially but softens throughout the fic, he is a dominating type Alpha who sort of sticks to traditional type Alpha behaviour whereas another fic (I donβt need an exact fic because Wade Wilson (Deadpool) is 9/10 always portrayed as being an βunconventionalβ Alpha) the Alpha (Wade) tends to be more relaxed, loose and more inclined to be in the submissive position, it all depends on you and what you prefer.
Typical Alpha behaviours you can utilise
β’Protective: proper Alphas are naturally protective, you can display this Alpha behaviour through little behaviours (although Iβd caution any Omega against allowing them for anyone they donβt know really well as they could turn into unhealthy non-con behaviours) such as walking/driving your partner home, this is particularly effective because to outsiders itβll look completely innocent but to you two itβs a sweet way of reinforcing your dynamic in a public setting.
β’Possessive: This again should be approached tentatively and with a stable mind set, healthy relevant possessive behaviours include; wrapping an arm around your Omega, soft affectionate touches, placing your hand on the small of their back, jewellery with your name on it, them wearing your clothes, love bites, in a long term d/s a tattoo may be appropriate
β’Marking: this is a common behaviour for Alpha and Omega both, both genders have possessive as a common trait and therefore love bites are a really good way to assert possession and dominance over your partner, bites, scratches are also more primal ways of marking.
β’Providing: this is another one that applies to both Alpha and Omega, way in which a you could βprovideβ for your mate is through cooking, cleaning, sewing (anything kind of motherly I suppose), an important part of A/B/O is proving your potential as a mate
Heat/Rut Cycles
β’Trope: heats and ruts
β’Real life application: the capital R, Roleplay, you could argue that becoming aroused is a form of minute/shortened heat, take that idea and run with it. If youβve got good recovery time then I could see role play heats being super effective and if you havenβt then thatβs just fine too! You could easily turn resting between rounds into Alpha type after care. Heats are typically monthly for Omegas and ruts are annually for Alphas (donβt blame you if you cant keep up!)
β’As an extension of A/B/O sex I wanted to mention Alpha knots and clarify that although Omegas and Alphas in fanfic have certain genital features in real life your own bits are just perfect for the job too! (I will go a little more in detail later on) , Alpha knots, of course you cant actually grow your own knot (sorry Alphas) but you can get knot dildos, they are expensive but if youβre looking for a more βrealisticβ heat experience then theyβre certainly an option, theyβre out there (Iβll drop some links below for anyone whoβs interested)
(I couldn’t find the link for Bad Dragon but I’m sure they’re still on Instagram or other forms of social media and therefore contactable)
Scenting
β’Trope: Scenting/Scent marking
β’Real like application: Alphas and Omegas having scents is a pretty important part of A/B/O, you assess the potential of a partner via how they smell, it may seem complicated and tricky to pull off but we humans already sense the smell of each other, in A/B/O its just heightened (All of my friends have their each individual smell for example, it may be based on their detergent, deodorant etc but its still distinctly theirs, Rob has a strong yet comforting scent, and although I canβt identify the exact smells it reminds me of a large waving washing over the sand, powerful yet calm and controlled, very Rob haha)
β’So, to apply the scenting trope to real life, Iβd say use body cream, you can get scented body cream pretty easy (cocoa butter is a perfect example) and its not too hard to rub it in typically βOmegaβ or βAlphaβ spots like the collarbone area, the wrists, inner thighs, if you have sensitive skin (like I do) I recommend spray, doesnβt have to be deodorant, it can be body mist and when all else fails, thereβs nothing up with role playing the scent of your partner or you, you need a bit of roleplay skills for A/B/O anyways, if thatβs not your thing you can even go along with the idea of having suppressants which block your scent, you could do a little scene arguing with your alpha about the use of them, get creative!
β’And even if you can’t practice irl scenting you can still present, presentingβs gotta be one of the easiest ways to get into Omega headspace there is, bare your neck as a sign of Omega submission.
Bond bites
β’Trope= Bond/Claims Bites
β’Real life application = bonding is an integral part of A/B/O, the idea of one partner having a claim over the other (or a mutual claim) is pretty obvious in any Omegaverse, there is sometimes a dark aspect about bonding (like the idea that a bond can be forced on an Omega, imprinting is also another trope I donβt know if this has origins in twilight i.e. Jacob imprinting on Renesme ick by the way but the concept is basically that when an Alpha meets an Omega they are compatible with they imprint on each other) so this one is pretty obvious, to apply this is in real life get your teeth out
β’Bond bites are a lot of fun if you have a biting/marking kink, if not then you can simply partake without using teeth or only bite hard enough for a light sensation not a mark (you should always be careful when engaging in anything that could leave marks though, test out pressure on yourself if youβre unsure and always check your partners pain tolerance)
β’I wanna talk a bit about collaring, I’ve only ever read one fic about collaring and its relevance in the Omegaverse but I think itβs a great alternative to actual bites, if youβre someone who finds collars or choker comfortable anyway its not too hard to join the dots and classify it as proof of your Alphaβs claim over you, the only difference is that typically a dom would not be collared where as most Alphas receive a matching (although usually smaller) bite from their Omega.
Breeding
β’Right, lets get a little controversial, I know thereβs a bit of a buzz around MPreg and trust me weβll get into that a little later in this paragraph. First lets talk about pregnancy and breeding and its relevance in A/B/O, an Alphaβs main job is to be a suitable mate and driven by their instincts, breeding their Omega is also important to them there is something appealing to an Alpha about knotting and breeding their Omega, to them it is the ultimate form of possession and the biggest most overt sign of their Alpha prowess, now, baring this in mind we come to see why it is an aspect that some would want to recreate that in real life A/O dynamic before I talk about ways to recreate this I urge those of you interested in Breeding as a kink to do some separate research into it, I havenβt done any research into it thoroughly because its not the main aspect of my enjoyment of A/B/O.
β’Some typical terms you could use in breeding role play is seed (a bit icky I know but I suppose It could be very appealing to an Alpha while dirty talking), pups (this is the term for babies in A/B/O, some fics imply that Omegas can have multiple babies (pups) at a time where as I prefer the standard one baby/pup a pregnancy), and Iβve read quite a bit about Omegas fixating on not βbeing fullβ this refers to not being penetrated or not being ejaculated into (yes I believe that using technical terms makes this less awkward to write about) I cant speak for everyone’s personal preference and there’s nothing wrong with having a breeding or pregnancy kink as long as you maintain safe sex or properly care for the child that results from the intercourse.
β’Mpregβ¦what do I think of it? It’s one of my favourite tropes, I donβt see anything wrong with it, I get that some people may find it icky but some men can have babies, some men do indeed have fully functioning wombs, lets not get into any transgender debates but if men can do it real life then I donβt see the issue in fanfiction, of course Mpreg does pose a bit of an issue if you want to recreate it literally (unless your Omega is male and possesses a womb) but as previously mentioned, role play works wonders, cis guys have asses and in some AUs male Omegas get pregnant via their backside.
β’The ways to recreate breeding are pretty obvious, youβve got two main ways, the first being role play, dirty talk for an A/O couple could very well include breeding talk, typical A/B/O breeding phrases, the second is through actual successful breeding, this could be fun if youβre already planning a family, if youβre already planning on having a pup then thereβs really no harm in indulging in that side of A/B/O relations.
Is there a Beta role?
β’In fanfiction, occasionally but unfortunately Betas arenβt really deemed relevant seeing as they have little instincts and present more as a typical primary gendered human. Taking this into account, I havenβt included any ways to identify as Beta in real life, this isnβt because I dislike the concept of Betas or because I believe Betas shouldnβt be presented in an A/B/O dynamic, it is simply because there isnβt enough typical behaviours for me to work with, having said that a B/O or A/B dynamic could work just as well as a A/O one, there just isnβt a lot of guidance or tropes to go off pertaining to the characteristics of someone with a Beta secondary gender.
β’Betas may be very good for people wanting to put A/B/O dynamics into practice but who may be switches, if a B/B dynamic was in place it would allow either partner to switch between Alpha, Omega or Beta as they saw fit.
Private parts…
β’ I touched on this a little on the paragraph pertaining to heats and ruts but I just want to talk a bit about trope genitals vs real life genitals, if youβre not about talking private bits then just skip this chapter but I realised that some interested in being male Omegas may be put off by the typical βOmegas are physically intersexβ commonality and some interested in being female Alphas may be disillusioned because they donβt have male genitals. I outlined the typical genital tropes at the beginning without too much detail but again every fanfic has their own take on which gender should have which genitals, my own personal head canon in fanfiction is that Omega bodies are intersex with a less prominent penis and that female Alphas are too although with a large prominent penis, male Alphas only have penises. β’In real life us Omegas cannot always have typical Omegan genitals and thatβs just fine, no matter what genitals you possess A/O can work for you.
Personal head canons
β’I have three labels I like to apply to my characters when I write any kind of A/B/O fic, sometimes I do not put emphasis on my personal head canon in the fic but recently I have begun adding it in and using it to enrich the plot and characters, Iβm currently writing my first βlostboyverseβ fic which is an Othello fanfic with the ships being Iago/Othello and Roderigo/Desdemona, having said that Iβd like to add this in to the article because in my personal A/O dynamic Iβd apply the barebones of it (Iβm a mod-trad Omega)
β’- Modern-Traditional: This βpreferenceβ fluctuates based on partners, although most mod-trads are not informed on the courtship rituals of the trads and are often looked down on by upper class trad alphas. β’- Modern: The most common type of gender identity or label, modern alpha/beta/omegas don’t conform to the old gender roles for example, two alphas may mate happily whereas Alpha/Alpha relationships used to be taboo, Alphas can also be submissive and Omega’s can be dominant.
β’- Traditional: The rarest type of gender identity but common within nobility/upperclasses, Alphas are dominant and protective and Omega’s are submissive and comforting, omega’s of this type also like to be treated softly and typically wish to bear pups for their alpha as soon as they are mated.
β’- Omegas and Alphas in this category cater to their instincts and Omega’s may like to be collared and/or given mating bites.
β’- There are strict rules for relationships between Alphas and Omegas and there are many factors which can affect A/O courtship.
Courtship
β’Trope = courtship
β’Real life application = DATING. All courtship is, is official dating with a few more rules of your own making aside from that youβve got the usual rainbows and puppies, you could announce yours and your partnerβs relationship to your friends officially, you could agree a set of rules that you both have to abide by when dating I.e no sexual contact until said date (a βbondingβ with bites or marks may be a good time to consummate if youβre that serious about it)
β’Summary: Over all I feel that A/B/O is quite easy to implement into D/S dynamics and Iβm more than excited to find a partner to try it out with, it is a bit of a niche but I feel like in the BDSM community its not really anything new, a breeding kink, domination and submission have always been about and they have just yet to be grouped in such a way obviously.
“ I’m an unspeakable of the Oscar Wilde sort” – Maurice Hall
Hey! George here, after thorough inspiration from Rob’s cowboy post (Big up my cowboy friend) I decided to write a little something about one of my favourite topics of analysis; Vintage film/tv series and the portrayal of LGBT character through these films.
The films I will be looking at (in differing depths) are; Maurice (1987), Gods Own Country (2017), Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), Reservoir dogs (1992), and The Krays (1990)
The characters I will be referencing/discussing are: Clive Durham, Maurice Hall, Alec Scudder, Johnny Saxby, Dr Frank N Furter, Mr White (Larry Dimick), Mr Orange (Freddy Newankdyke), Ronnie Kray. (please note I may reference the book portrayals/other portrayals of said character, and not all characters I will references are a hundred per cent confirmed LGBT+, like always this is simply my opinion)
PSA: I know there are more LGBTQ characters and relationships but this would be too long to cover, if I get bored in lockdown I may make a part two though π
Clive Durham: The sole excuse for a relationship between two men is that it remains purely platonic. Surely you agree to that. Maurice Hall: I don’t know. I’ve come to tell you what I did. Clive Durham: Well, Alec Scudder is in point of fact no longer in my service. In fact, he is no longer in England. He sailed for Buenos Aires this very day. Maurice Hall: He didn’t. He sacrificed his career for my sake. Without a guarantee. I don’t know if that’s platonic or not but it’s what he did. Clive Durham: missed his boat? Maurice, you’re going mad! May I ask if you intend… Maurice Hall: [interrupts him] No, you may not ask. I told you everything up to this minute, not a word beyond.
Maurice is originally a book by E M Forster (which I have read and adored! but I will be referencing the film) Maurice is a coming of age type film that is liable to make you cry and includes scenes of very weird conversion therapy and major angst.
Maury looks like this for ninety percent of the film.
– Personal rating: 9/10, it’s gay, it’s angsty, it’s wholesome. Shame Clive’s such an arsewipe.
– Favourite character: Maurice is kinda an arse til the end, so probably Alec or Lord Risley (RIP a camp icon)
Clive Durham: The philosophical, hedonistic rich boy
β’Clive is arguably the most angsty character in the whole film, Maury has his moments but he ends up with Alec in the end whereas Clive continues to prioritise his career and his wife Anne over true happiness. He is also the highest class character in the film, aside from Risley, this means that from his perspective he has more to lose, this is probably why he keeps Maurice at arms length despite Maurice being eager to be more physical.
β’Although he professes his love for our man Maurice first there is some debate over his sexuality, it could be argued that he is possibly bisexual or even heterosexual but homoromantic, he fixates on the idea of male platonic love although it is clear by his reaction to being with Maurice he experiences deeper feelings for Maurice. He is in my opinion the most selfish character, (aside from Alec who naively believes it would be easy for Maurice to see him) he keeps Maurice as his best friend despite knowing how heartbroken Maurice was when they split, he also expects Maurice to interact with his wife and act as if they were only good friends and although I take into consideration the circumstances I refuse to believe that Clive couldnβt have just broke off their friendship entirely.
β’Sexuality: Clive is repressed, that much is obvious, he doesnβt allow himself to be with Maurice sexually under the guise of βpurityβ due to internalised self hatred and fear of what may become of him (and only him) if it were to be discovered. He isnβt particularly physical with his wifeΒ which is why Iβd identify him as gay rather than bi or heteroflexible. There is a daunting scene where he stares out of the window (knowing Maurice has gone to Alec) and remembers Maurice at Cambridge, he appears even more distant from his wife which solidified my theory that their relationship was not as loving as he portrayed to Maurice and co.
– Summary: Clive fits into the ‘so far in the closet he’s eating clothes to survive’ archetype although that is understandable at the time the film/book is set, he is however one of the most tragic characters I have come across, the amount of pain he subjects himself to simply so that he can keep his social standing is heart-breaking.
– Place on the gay scale ( 1 being completely het and 10 being the gayest form of gay)
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10
Hate to break it to ya Clive but that hair stroking scene was pretty gay ;p
A solid 7, not gay enough to divorce his love deprived wife and run off with Maurice but still gay enough to pine for the rest of his life and watch the man he loves be happy with another man.
Maurice Hall Our lovely protagonist, the ever pining spoilt just about rich boy
β’Maurice is the epitome of gay misery, he is lured into a relationship with Clive and forced by his love for said man to stay in an unfulfilling relationship and when that relationship ends. His love keeps him sticking around, acting as Cliveβs best friend as he marries Anne and continues to shun their homosexuality to the point he is angry upon discovering Maurice and Alecβs relationship as he believed they had brushed the matter under the rug. Despite Cliveβs selfishness and Mauriceβs loyal and intense love for him he eventually gets his head out of his backside although that is little to do with him and more to do with one Alec Scudder, undergrounds man.
β’Mauriceβs sexuality is the only thing about him that is definite, he is gay, he seeks conversion therapy through hypnotherapy, watches men naked in changing rooms, gets jealous when Clive flirts with his sister and wants to take care of the man he loves when he falls ill. Maurice is however a very complex character. Β In his youth he is stuck up and bossy and fills the boots of his deceased father horridly; whether that is because he is trying his best to push a hyper masculine narrative or whether he believes himself invincible after being kicked out of Cambridge, I donβt know.Β When he grows up a little he appears melancholy, nostalgic and every moment with Clive simply makes this worse, he does not initially notice Scudderβs interest and instead laments about how Clive has not sent him a happy birthday note to which Alec replies to with an enthusiastic βHappy Birthday sir!β
β’It is clear that the primary reason why Maurice doesnβt consider Alec as a partner is because of social class, Alec is basically a servant, he is insignificant to the Durhams and therefore to Maurice too. This theme of ignorance continues on, Maurice immediately fears that Alec will blackmail him after they sleep together, this is probably because the upper classes viewed the lower classes as being dishonest, scroungers. Mr Hall didnβt take into account the fact that Alec came to him and was the instigator.Β He adds insult to injury by ignoring Alecβs notes to the point that the poor sod has to come down to London to have it out with him. I found these scenes very real and very emotional, both of them say things to hurt the other but it’s clear that Maurice is simply scared and Alec is simply hurt that the first gentleman heβs propositioned has made a fool of him. Later on Maurice claims to love Alec βIβm in love with Alec Scudderβ but I did think this was an unlikely occurrence, it is more likely that Maurice, so deprived of physical contact, loved Alec more for his bold behaviour and his physical body than his mind, it is clear they are presented unequally (Maurice is higher class, well educated, intelligent, where as Alecβs language is broken, he speaks in slang and his job is not exactly desirable)
β’Alec however, has stable grounds to be in love with Maurice, he is also more than likely bisexual (due to the scene in which the maid is late to clean up the mess, it is implied heavily that they had slept together). To Alec Maurice is attractive (I mean of course he is have you seen James Wilby), heβs a gentleman, with a quiet brooding vibe about him, heβs clearly not straight (he obviously pines over Clive) and he reacted positively to his advances, why wouldnβt he be in love?
Sexuality: Really really gay, definitely the Oscar Wilde sort gay, so gay he goes to the doctor to see about the state of his dick not reacting to women gay. Maurice was repressed, until Alec liberated him, Alec made Maurice strong, he gave Maurice the chance to be happy and himself. Clive made Maurice hate himself. His sexuality is consolidated at the end (see below gif) when he meets Alec at the boat house.
– Place on the gay scale ( 1 being completely het and 10 being the gayest form of gay)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
In the end, DEFINITELY A 10, our man sleeps with men (well man, one man, his ‘soul mate’). He’s brave and sacrifices his job and social standing for the love of Alec and his hopes for their future together.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————-God’s Own Country-————————————————-
Captivating and broodingly beautiful, Godβs Own Country is the award winning debut feature from writer/director Francis Lee. Bracingly open hearted, this is a thrillingly romantic story set in the heart of rural Yorkshire. Both poignant and moving, this finely crafted British film features a host of standout performances, marking it out as an absolute must see.
GOC (God’s Own Country) is an intriguing indie romance film, the relationship between Gheorge and Johnny is by far the most complex and realistic LGBT relationship I have come across. What makes it real is the issues, the dysfunction that is ever present in modern relationships. I love the way the characters are portrayed and developed.
[after Johnny vomits] If you think I’m cleaning your sick up again you’ve got another thing coming.
Deidre Saxby
Personal rating: 10/10, It’s just excellent, especially for a modern piece (I need not mention how homosexuality is fetishized in most modern LGBT films, which tend to be more pornographic than realistic)
Favourite character: I relate more to Gheorge (we’re definitely alike) but my favourite is gotta be Johnny. Just look at him! Plus he develops so much during the film it’s hard not to love him. (I mean he does screw our favourite Romanian boy over a tad but he’s just scared really)
– PG? Or nah?: Nope. definitely not PG, there’s sex, so much that I had to skip the majority of said scenes. But it is meaningful. At times. 18+ (I break my own rules guys shhh)
Johnny Saxby: Mr ‘I drink to forget how angsty I am’
Angst lord 101
β’Johnny is a young man, left frustrated by farm work (which he more than likely doesnβt want to do), it has deprived him of his teen hood. How does he cope with this? Alcohol and sex, mainly alcohol though. He comes home from the local pub and throws up, then he plods on with his duties. Johnny may appear to be a true trooper but heβs scared of the L word. Gheorge is more than likely everything Johnny could fall in love with; masculine, good around the farm, strong silent type. Johnny knows this, so he tries his best to keep him at arms length, through blatant racism, Gheorge is a Romanian migrant worker and bless him he just wants to do his job. But he does eventually stand up for himself (Yay Gheorge).
β’We see the most about Johnny in the deleted scenes, which is sad because heβs a very interesting and complex character and Iβd have loved to have a bit more material to work with. Having said that a lot of A03 fanfics have good interpretations of Johnny and Gheorge and their life after the film ends.
β’Sexuality: Gay, realistic gay, we donβt know too much about Johnny, he keeps all his cards to his chest. Heβs also very unused to being loved, his mam isnβt around so I suppose that has something to do with it. Gheorge has to fight to kiss him but once he does his walls seem to fall, thenβ¦they go back up again. Their downfall comes from Johnny taking the leap, asking Gheorge to stay with him and help fix the farm (which he has ruined with his recklessness), and Gheorge being unsure, which leads Johnny back into his old cycle of sex, alcohol and rock n roll (only joking about the last one).
Having said that, Johnny does come to his senses after his dad comes home from hospital and makes the dangerous and terrifying voyage to Scotland to retrieve Gheorge, he struggles with his emotions and his words but he eventually expresses how he feels and Gheorge responds only with their familiar insults. “Faggot” “So are you”
– Summary: Johnny grows as a character. Gheorge’s here for it. For real though, this is the best example of sex becoming what it’s supposed to be, tender and affectionate. It also demonstrates what racial prejudice can do to a person’s personality (Gheorge takes Johnny calling him a Gypsy for far too long in my opinion) and one of the reasons he’s so hesitant to stay with Johnny is probably because he worries that the villagers will think all he wants is a green card.
– Place on the gay scale ( 1 being completely het and 10 being the gayest form of gay)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Quite gay. Also realistic as previously stated, gay men tend to be oversexualised and over feminised in film. Neither of our boys fit the stereotype as many gay men don’t.
——————————————————————————————————————————————— Rocky Horror Picture Show ——————————————
A newly engaged couple have a breakdown in an isolated area and must pay a call to the bizarre residence of Dr. Frank-N-Furter.
RHPS what can I say? Iconic. hilarious. Arguably the most influential queer cult classic of all time. It’s got drag, it’s got small town sweethearts, it’s got corsets. And it’s got a unconventional conventionalist soundtrack. So, let’s do the time warp again!
Personal rating: 8/10, Love it! The only downfall is the 70s attitudes to queerness, seeing Frank as a deviant and such.
Favourite character: Hmm that’s a tricky one, probably Rocky. He’s just so sweet.
Themes: Sexual awakening, homosexuality, drag, aliens, comedy, hedonism, obsession, frivolity, the American dream.
PG? Or nah?: Eh, there’s nothing explicit but it is heavily referenced and shown a little through silhouettes. So I’d say 15+
Dr Frank N Furter, evil alien life-force, king of ‘deviants’, transsexual prince
– Frank isn’t really a complex character, he is a sensual hedonistic creature who lives for pleasure and enjoys corrupting others. We learn the most about him from Columbia’s rebellion “My God! I can’t stand any more of this! First you spurn me for Eddie, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for Rocky! You chew people up and then you spit them out again… I loved you… do you hear me? I loved you! And what did it get me? Yeah, I’ll tell you: a big nothing. You’re like a sponge. You take, take, take, and drain others of their love and emotion. Yeah, well, I’ve had enough You’re gonna choose between me and Rocky, so named after the rocks in his head!”- Columbia is the perfect example of one of Frank’s ex-conquests, she loved/loves him, to the point of causing her own death, she also loved Eddie (who by the looks of things in hot patootie also slept with her) although Eddie was focused on “rock n roll porn and motorcycles” it’s clear he was also involved with Frank.
– Frank uses his sexuality to get what he wants, he offers Magenta and Riff Raff sexual favours when they demand to go back to transsexual, he sleeps with Janet and then Brad in order to corrupt them both, the only person he seems to have no interest in is Dr Scott. Although I do feel as if Frank is demonised by the fandom and portrayed somewhat unfairly, he is a hypersexual character but that doesn’t necessarily mean he is systematically bad. He has a sexual appetite not dissimilar to an incubus but arguably does have a deeper character to him, I’m going home is one of the most emotional songs of the musical and he wouldn’t have been given it, was he not a tiny bit capable of emotion.
– Sexuality: Frank’s sexuality is a weird one, he sleeps with Eddie, Columbia, Brad, Janet and Rocky freely and with no care as to what they have between their legs. But it’s clear he doesn’t love anyone, even the feelings he has for Rocky is more of a sexual obsession than it is love, he wants rocky to be completely loyal to him, despite his own sexual promiscuity. I’d peg him as a pansexual aromantic. He has little regard for anyone but himself aside from Rocky who he believes he owns.
Summary: Frank represents insatiable sexual appetite and homosexual ‘deviance’ he is surprisingly frank (haha get it) about his sexuality which is quite revolutionary for the 70s!
– Place on the gay scale ( 1 being completely het and 10 being the gayest form of gay)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Do I even need justification? Lustful. Alien. Drag queen.
Now let’s have a look at little analysed character
Brad Majors the all American boy
– Brad is a more challenging character to analyse, he presents himself as the all American boy but he is arguably the first to be attracted to Frank, this is shown when he mispronounces Janet’s last name instead saying “Vice” instead of Weiss. He always introduces himself first then Janet, as his. As if he is trying to push the narrative that Janet is his woman and he is ‘the man’
– I personally see Brad as very closeted and although the main focus is on home girl Janet I would head canon Brad as gay or at least bi. His interactions with Janet can either be interpreted as gentlemanly or more platonic, he skips away from her kiss in damnit Janet and proposes conveniently after Ralph Hapshatt hints at marriage.
-He is a character fixated on masculinity, he even takes the typical cigarette after sex stance after he sleeps with Frank, it is also likely he went the whole way with Frank where as it is implied that Janet didn’t. In wise up Janet Weiss Frank states “You’re apple pie (lady garden) don’t taste too nice” and Magenta and Columbia earlier discover she is/was a virgin until she sleeps with Rocky. The loss of Janet’s virginity was a pretty big deal in the film so if she had lost it to frank it probably would have been focused on more like it was when she slept with Rocky.
Sexuality: Brad’s sexuality is open to interpretation I think! I head canon him as gay mainly just because of how strained his masculine behaviour is and his insistent kinda sexist ‘macho’ attitude to everything. Plus he’s scared of Frank and the events my heart almost broke when he sung “help me mommy”
– Place on the gay scale ( 1 being completely het and 10 being the gayest form of gay)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
He did sleep with Frank guys, he can’t be 100 percent straight but his ‘love’ for Janet is a reoccurring theme π
A super masculine Taratino classic, but also a implicitly homosexual/romantic masterpiece? We shall see. When looking into it I found many more articles on homosexuality specifically between Mrs White and Orange than any other of my ‘gay by opinion’ films.
The irony of RD is that it is the definition of masculinity, yet there is (you could argue) homosexual/homoerotic subtext, the tenderness between Freddy and Larry, the prolonged fucking joke between Eddie and Vic. The fact that to Joe (big dick leader) the lowest insult is a homophobic slur, he calls Freddy a cocksucker when he accuses him of being the rat (undercover cop) and calls Mr Pink a faggot when he questions his code name.
Mrs White, Orange, Blonde, Pink, Blue and Brown AKA the gang
“The story is simple. A group of identically besuited robbers have a stoolie in their midst. So a heist goes badly wrong and the men, fleeing separately, roll around their scattered brains who has done the dirty on them. Revenge would be almost as sweet as actually getting away.
We never see the heist, so we don’t know what has gone wrong anymore than the stragglers. In one car, Harvey Keitel drives the badly wounded Tim Roth towards the comparative safety of an old warehouse, where the others congregate and, in a bloody finale which looks like a stab at a latterday Jacobean tragedy, the wheel turns full circle. Those who live by violence die by it.” – https://www.theguardian.com/film/1993/jan/07/1
Personal rating:β’ solid 9/10. Made me cry, It was the scene where Freddy tells Larry he’s a cop even though he knows Larry could kill him for it, it’s such an intense moment because Freddy feels that Larry deserves the truth and its ready to sacrifice himself for it.
Favourite Character: Vic Vega, Mr Blonde. that little dance, Stuck in the middle with you, the razor. Ugh beautiful monster! (Michael Madsen is also one of my favourite actors, I loved him in the Kill Bill volumes) although I do LOVE Larry and Freddy too.
Themes: : Violence, masculinity, emotion, organised crime, justice, spying, liebstod, love and sacrifice, friendship, crime, racism, sexism, homophobia.
PG? Or nah?: Nah but not for sex. It’s a Tarantino, so it includes copious amounts of violence including the infamous razor scene (you can find it on YouTube if you haven’t already seen it, but it is really graphic)
Freddy Newandyke a.k.a Mr Orange the soft cop who lets face it, looks a tad like a twink
And (I’m doing these two together because a lot of my ideas include these two interlinked/as a pair)
Larry Dimick wizened slick career criminal
β’ A little about our man Freddy/Orange, he’s a relatively young cop doing some undercover work. He rehearses his lies like a badass and infiltrates the group led by Joe and Eddie Cabot.
Homoeroticism insinuates itself through visual double entendre and narrative ellipses, and ultiΒmately illuminates the filmβs central relaΒtionship. The homosexual subtext is primarΒily focused through Mr. White (Harvey Keitel) and Mr. Orange (Tim Roth), the undercover cop, whose covert story is one of blind love and betrayal.
Freddy is arguably both the most real man in the film and the most ‘homosexual’ I see him this way because he’s unapologetically raw. He screams and cries when he’s hurt and seeks comfort in Larry (Mr White) until the very end. I suppose in hindsight there seem to be a decent amount of real LGBT characters in film, although how representative they can really be when the majority of them are all Caucasian.
Upon further research there is debate over which pairing is more likely to be gay, some argue the fucking joke and Eddie vouching for Vic’s loyalty make them the likely couple and state the relationship between Larry and Freddy is more fatherly, mainly cause Larry refers to Freddy as ‘kid’. I can see both sides of the argument, I guess I see Larry and Freddy as more of a sweet romantic pairing than Vic and Eds. Although how romantic can you get with career criminals?
Better moves than me folks π
Freddy is a mysterious guy, we don’t find much out about him despite him probably being the main character in the film. We see him mainly through flashbacks once we find out he is indeed the rat (like Eddie suspected). But it is clear that he was not the right choice for the undercover job, he is regarded by everyone but Larry with suspicion because he is the new guy. Freddy has emotions, he has to practice in order to fit in with the other men with their ‘macho macho’ dialect, this shows that he’s not normally hyper masculine, that he likes to live within the confines of the law (I mean his flat is hardly as messy as my bedroom).
Look at him, big dork giving himself a pep talk nawww!
Not only is Freddy youthful in his style (bedroom and clothes) he’s also a pretty decent human, after becoming close with Larry (implied by his knowledge of first names; this is significant because Joe and Eddie use code names for the guys so that they all have plausible deniability and can’t identify each other to the cops) he feels he owes Larry the truth, So where is the missing scene where they get better acquainted? (wink wink ;))
I’m gonna do this a tad differently, I’m going to include some examples of scenes which I see as building up the possibility of the pairing. (wont be in order that they happen in the film, in order of importance/relevance)
This is debatably the most important scene!
The Mexican stand off is the strongest proof you can get. Larry is aiming a gun at men he’s known for years and years, these are his friends. Why would he threaten them over some kid he’s only known a minute? It must be love, love, love, doo doo. Nah but seriously, Larry’s got to have some kind of attachment to Freddy, it could be denial (if he does care for Freddy Eddie’s accusations would have hurt) and Freddy in turn must have some kind of attachment back ( is willing to sacrifice himself, his life, his cover, for Larry)They’re closer than they need to be and, where’s Freddy’s arm?….Freddy’s been shot, Larry’s got one eye on the road and one on Freddy not to mention his hand his in Freddy’s. This is a sad and sweet scene, sad because Freddy’s been shot, he’s shot someone/or someone’s been shot because of him, my memory’s fuzzy (breaking his cop morals) and sweet because Larry’s main goal is to comfort him.
Then there’s the “you’re gonna be okay, say the goddamn words, you’re gonna be okay”This is just cute, although you could dismiss this as Freddy just doing his job.He’s dying or at he’s seriously injured and this is what he asks, it’s nothing to do with job right now (why would you want a career criminal doing that if you didn’t like them?)
Here’s the funny thing about Larry + Freddy, they have a bit of link into BDSM. Just check A03, there are many many fics about DDLB and to be fair. I can see it. Larry is like a dad to Freddy, he’s willing to die/kill for him, he comforts him when he’s injured and they both fit the physical stereotype (Larry’s handsome, older, more masculine, a natural caregiver. Freddy’s lanky, youthful looking, pretty, could definitely pass as a twink)
Sexuality: Open to interpretation, I definitely think that one of the Mr’s is gay, my best guess is Freddy.
– Place on the gay scale ( 1 being completely het and 10 being the gayest form of gay)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Like I said, subject to opinion but I ship it hard. And Freddy and Larry are so wholesome!! Fight me.
———————————————————————————————————————————————————– The Krays ———————————————–
It’s a good old 90s biopic. featuring the Kemp brothers (of Spandau Ballet) as Ronald and Reginald Kray, iconic British gangsters and leaders of ‘the firm’. I know they’re real people but for the sake of simplicity (and the fact this is already too long) we’re just talking about the film characters when referencing Ronnie or Reggie.
The white swan flying through the dream sequence that opens Peter Medak’s spooky and transfixing new film, “The Krays,” appears predatory and gray. And in a later scene, children in a schoolyard are made to resemble an insect swarm. By comparison, the twin gangsters who are the film’s central characters could not look more innocent or pristine. A speck of someone else’s blood on one of their clean, monogrammed white shirts is enough to cause them real dismay.
Twin Thugs With a Mother Complex, The New York Times
The strongest bromance in existence ;3
Personal rating: 10/10, I love the aesthetic, the way they portray Ronnie and his relationship with Steve. They really captured Ronnie’s fragmented mental state.
Favourite character: uGH Ronnie!!!!!!!!. He could run me over and I would thank him (not to romanticise his actions in real life, I don’t condone gang activity, I just appreciate the characters sexy bad boi attitude and think Gary Kemp is gorgeous)
PG? or nah: Not too graphic, no sex, lots of violence (stabbing, shooting, suicide)
Top 3 fanfics– N/A (Sadly couldn’t find any, I may write one in future and in the mean time there are plenty of Legend Kray fics to read if you’ve watched that film)
————–**********************************************************————————********************* Ronnie Kray ************************—–
Ronnie and his main partner (I’d even go as far as to call him Ron’s boyfriend) Steve. Steve is always at Ron’s side, he supports him after he fights with the guy in the alleyway, takes his snake from him, wakes up in bed with him and, takes his abusive bullshit.Look at Steve, he’s so happy and precious like ‘look at my boyfriend on the phone, isn’t he perfectly evil’. I apologise about these captions, most of it is just super gay rambling.
– Cornell’s disapproval of Ronnie’s queer tendencies is basically the reason behind their downfall (aside from the murder of Jack the hat), I’ll insert the dialogue below and you’ll get what I’m about to explain.
George Cornell: Well well well all the pretty boys together eh?
Steve: Piss off Cornell
George Cornell: How’s your boyfriend lately, still in tears over his auntie?
Steve: You wanna watch your mouth
George Cornell: You what?
Steve: I said you wanna your mouth
George Cornell: –grabbing him– Poofs don’t warn anyone. You listening? You tell your fat poof friend he doesn’t scare me. Oh he’s bringing over his Yankee friends from America getting ideas a bit above his station inn βhe. Well tell him he can own all he likes but he’s still tied to his mother’s apron strings. OK, Goodnight girls
Β he leaves
Steve’s Friend: You gonna tell Ron?
Steve: I don’t think I’m gonna have to half the fucking pub heard him
– Steve is a side character, Ronnie (and of course his brother) is the main character, they are central to the story and any other surrounding characters are simply pawns in the great Kray chess game.
Righty-o, this is significant. So in the gang world (from my meagre understanding) your partner, usually your wife/girlfriend represents you, how powerful you are, how good of a partner you can get. By this same extension Cornell is both bad mouthing Ron through his ‘man’, Steve is his right hand man and his boyfriend (it’s quite a badly kept secret if you ask me) and for Cornell to intimidate him. That’s a good as a duel request.
Following on from that, we can only look at what we’re given, I of course will make some educated guesses on their character from my view. Ronnie is the dominant twin, he is violent, possessive, abusive and jealous. No one sees his nasty side more than Steve. Ron’s ‘dark side’ is first showcased when he sees Reg flirting with a girl (I don’t know if it’s Frances), he reacts by starting a fight with one of the club goes (he claims that the man has said something about him, although really he’s just trying to regain Reg’s attention *sweet home alabama plays in the distance*). This fight turns messy pretty quickly, as you can imagine, the guy has a knife and threatens Ronnie. But Ronnie gets him to drop it, has his own bigger knife (hard man) and disfigures the poor bastard. This scene is the start of our knowledge of Roneve (Ronnie and Steve), although Steve does call Ron a geezer and they have a bit of a side hug just before the knifey scene and (I’ve just re-watched this scene) Steve goes after the guy and Reg pulls him back saying “leave him, leave him!”
– Steve expresses concern for Ronnie, who shrugs it off and reaffirms he can take care of himself. Steven then helps Ronnie redress (he has blood on him of course) including doing his tie, which is quite cute to be fair. They kiss, as seen by the photo and then Ronnie starts being a total wanker “What are you wearing?” he asks, Steve replies he doesn’t know and Ronnie says “I don’t like it”. It seems that making Steve self-conscious is part of how he hides his feelings for people, Steve’s entire face drops and you can see he’s upset over Ronnie’s relentless criticism (its his shoes after his smell, which Ronnie bought for him by the way) then in a weird move Ron whispers in Steve’s ear “I’ll have to get you some more then won’t I”. As if he is giving the donkey the carrot after the stick.
– To my knowledge there is only one other scene where we see them interacting, it is of course the bed scene. This scene struck me as particularly brutal, Ron’s angry and as usual Steve’s the one he takes it out on, he grabs him by the jaw throws him on the bed and when Steve stands up for himself “Yeah well don’t take it out on me. It ain’t my fault”. Ronnie explodes, throwing clothes at him.
“Your crap everywhere! There’s pants in the bathroom! There’s shoes everywhere! Tidy up after your self! Everything’s getting too messy!”
But once again, Ron only snaps when he’s stressed or irate, Jack’s the one who’s pissed him off this instance.
Sexuality: pretty sure irl Ron and Reg were bi but we only ever see him presented as gay in the film, so yeppers he’s gay.
Place on the gay scale ( 1 being completely het and 10 being the gayest form of gay)
Conclusion – thanks for tuning in ladies and gentlefolk! this was super fun to compile as I love analysis and anything LGBTQ, in a time where there’s still not loads of representation this cheered me up quite a bit.
RR: Literally just making this as an excuse to show this vid featuring the game of my childhood (that has now been destroyed because of this) I have saved on my phone, apparently.
UPDATE: LOOOL never thought i’d be risk assessing a penis so soon… XD
Okay, now for serious(ish) discussion.
As a penisless and testicless being, I can never truly comprehend the masochistic thrill (or excruciating pain) of receiving CBT. I can only imagine that ‘ball-busting’ and ‘genital piercing’ are at least as painful as they sound.
“Cock and ball torture (CBT), penis torture or dick torture is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the penis or testicles. This may involve directly painful activities, such as genital piercing, wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation, kneeing or kicking. The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadisticdominant. Many of these practices carry significant health risks.”
Sounds enough to make a grown man cry, whether that be pleasure or pain, or both.
Going back to my previous post, why not analyse the practice against SSC and RACK models? How can you assess the practice prior to partaking to ensure safety is secured?
SSC
Safe; is the practice safe? – mild to moderate CBT would have a reduced risk of harm, so staying within this proximity of intensity would be safer.
Sane; is everyone of capacity to consent? Hopefully, yes. Be sure to assess your partner if you are conducting the tourture before AND DURING the scene.
Consent; is everyone consenting? Again, hopefully. If not or in doubt and there are no consent-related structures or protocols already discussed, do not continue with the scene.
RACK
Risk-Aware; perform the risk assessment:
RISK
ALLEVIATION
Testicular Rupture (Testicle(s) extrude contents)
Be careful and mindful when applying blunt trauma to the testicles.
“Today let’s chat about the topic we all must discuss before delving deeper into fantasies and shet. I cannot understate how important it is to have a consent and boundary agreement with the person you’re frolicking with!SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) and RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink) are two acronyms that describe this agreement of what is okay and what is not. Let’s look at the difference between them!”
SSC
‘Safe, Sane and Consensual’. These are the criteria of performing and/or partaking in BDSM-related interactions under this motto. Everything must be based on safe activities where everyone participating is of a acceptable mental state, and has capacity to consent to the activities in the first place and that every participant has fully consented to being part of the activity.
I consider that the criteria of this motto draws a very clear line between BDSM and domestic abuse; given that it is mutual consent that makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between them. The emphasis is particularly on the safety of the activity and the mutual consent itself, which ensures that all participants are at a lower risk of sustaining unwanted injuries due to unsafe situations, as well as the importance of assessing the validity of the consent itself when it is given to safeguard the individuals.
My only issue with SSC (hence why i opt not to use this criteria personally), is that I consider the ‘Safe’ criterion to be too vague and openly interpret-able to individuals, causing issues in drawing a line between what is considered ‘safe’, and conforming to SCC, and what is ‘unsafe’ and should not be partaken in under this criteria. Further still, in a case of accident, poor communication or poor judgement/knowledge, an activity that is deemed ‘safe’ can easily become ‘unsafe’.
I personally believe it is very important that individuals should take care to assess individual activities, situations and circumstances in BDSM case-by-case instead of using ‘safe’ and ‘unsafe’ as umbrella terms for them as there is always a potential risk when partaking in any activity. It is harder to clearly identify limits if there is not an assessment prior to participation and the individuals have not fully communicated them, or missed an aspect accidentally. This is why I instead would perform a risk-assessment and discuss it with the participant(s) first so that everyone is far more informed about how to safely conduct the activity.
Which brings me to the next criteria:
RACK
‘Risk-Aware Consensual Kink’ is my preferred criteria. It is far more individual and less black-and-white than SSC. However, RACK carries way more personal responsibility, rather than a more general responsibility as in SSC, to each individual partaking; it ways far more heavily on communication and judgement.
Under RACK, you must have sufficient insight into what the potential risks are in the activity you want to perform/partake in and make sure that everyone involved is also fully aware. To acquire this, you must perform a risk-assessment first to alleviate the risks involved with it so that there is a lesser likelihood of them happening, or at least to be prepared to deal with these situations, should they arise.
I feel that this criteria allows individuals to also look more into the different aspects of activities and allows them to communicate the different risks in more depth than simply labeling the activity/situations/circumstances as ‘safe’ or ‘unsafe’ generally; it pinpoints the exact aspects. The importance of this is that in doing this and communicating it with the participants, it is far easier to establish limits in particular activities if they are in use, as it forces them to be discussed prior to the participation, even if they are considered more of a grey area than ‘safe’ or ‘unsafe’.
It also opens the door to ‘edgeplay’, or those who mutually consent to not using established limits or use total power exchange in the dynamics between them. As I stated: RACK encourages more individual dynamics, in my opinion. You can set strict rules, or keep them loose by using a risk-assessment and deciding where to set the boundaries for particular aspects of the activity.
To Conclude
I like the fact that there are multiple ways to go about ensuring that everyone is on the same page in BSDM; it also improves the communication between individuals, strengthening the bond and understanding between them!
Remember, ALWAYS discuss things prior to participation whether you’re using SSC or RACK; especially if it is a new activity that you haven’t tried out before, or if it’s with a new person/early days! I highly suggest establishing a ‘safe-word’, just in case!
Side note: This has taken me so so long to write oh my, totally worth it though! I found out a lot about my ‘fetish’ through writing this tiny novice guide and found many aspects of it that fit and equally didn’t fit me.
Some basics from Wikipedia (incl. stuff I forgot to mention)
A stray= a puppy who is uncollared/unowned
The Wikipedia page also introduced me to the term psychodrama, which means “Psychodrama is an action method, often used as a psychotherapy, in which clients use spontaneous dramatization, role playing, and dramatic self-presentation to investigate and gain insight into their lives”
“Cow Play often involves fantasies of lactation and impregnation. The usual limits of safe, sane and consensual apply to roleplay as much as any other activity between humans who accept and respect their partner’s interests and limits. For most, this does not include bestiality”
“Just because one partner is playing the “pet” does not necessarily make them the passive or submissive play partner in the scene“- Alphas exist people! This is a super good example of dominant pets, especially in the context of an A/B/O roleplay
“Petplay, especially pup and kitten play seeks to create the same deep emotional connection between the owner/master and submissive/pet. The dom may demand unconditional love and obedience, but they may also train their pet to be more emotionally perceptive and empathic. This helps the sub feel safe and secure in the relationship”
“Pony play is sometimes referred to as “The Aristotelian Perversion”, in reference to an apocryphal story where the philosopher Aristotle was persuaded to let a woman named Phyllis ride him like a horse, in promised exchange for sexual favors: an episode depicted in various woodcuts and other works of art.”
“If there is a dominant role it can be taken by a “handler”, “trainer”, “master”, or in the case of someone who also identifies as a pup, an “Alpha”. Not all “pups” or “dogs” are “Alpha”, some consider themselves “Beta” or “Omega”, and as in the canine world hierarchy, “Beta” can refer to someone who has both dominant and submissive or service oriented tendencies depending on the situation where “Omega” generally indicates a more submissive, passive, service oriented and playful nature. Unlike other forms of animal roleplay, it is not uncommon for two or more pups to play together as equals, possibly fight for dominance, or play where one is clearly the “Alpha”.[6]
Rough Outline of contents π
ABO in fanfiction: common tropes, uncommon tropes, general opinions, what’s the appeal etc
Pet play (bare in mind this is from a beginner’s perspective and I’m simply going on the information I’ve seen and my own preferences)
Types of pets
Links between Pets, Slaves and Littles
Training, Owners, collars and the spectrum of Pet activities
Roles (Alpha, Beta, Omega)
So A/B/O (Alpha, Beta, Omega) has long since been one of my favourite fanfic tropes, we’ll get into why a little later on but first let’s define shall we? I’ll be your host for today, my name’s George. Let’s get it on people.
Alpha: the “dominant” secondary gender, most Alphas have one defining feature; a knot (alike to a dog or wolf) and can usually impregnate both Omegas and Betas but not other Alphas. An alpha can be of any gender and depending on the author’s specifics may or may not have a rut (the Alpha version of a heat)
Beta: the most “human/normal” of the genders if we’re following the secondary gender = werewolf trope. The Beta is almost like the switch I suppose, they don’t have a knot but they do have a womb (from what I can gather). A Beta can also be of any primary gender.
Omega: the “submissive” secondary gender, Omegas generally don’t get treated great (or they get treated like royalty in cases in which they are rare usually, two extremes am I right?). They have wombs to bear kids (even the males) and they have heats, basically periods of being unbearably hot and needing to have release lol.
Whilst these dynamics are often used to either conform to or break away from traditional gender stereotypes it is important to remember that ABO is a pretty fantasy based kink, it is kinda impossible for a human to have a knot, I’m sure you can probably get knot dildos (edit: you can but they’re fantasy dildos, so are pretty expensive). Where as Pet play, whilst still having fantasy elements (we’re not actual dogs after all) is more of a roleplay that can be 24/7 for some and just occasional for other. Just like CGL Pet play can be either sexual or non-sexual for example, I’ve found more non-sexual littles than sexual ones, I am still exploring to what extent pet play is sexual for me, there are some aspects that are more sexual to me than others but a lot of is rooted in submission, I’m on the fence as to how submissive my inner pup actually is in terms of being a ‘good pup’ versus being a ‘bad pup’.
A/B/O is a super interesting thing for me and links quite nicely with the aspects of pet play I like (although I believe it has more links with prey/predator kink). We will be talking about pet play here, it’s more of a stream of conscious/opinion piece than an articulated piece of writing. We’ll talk about my preferences (I’m a selfish guy sue me :)), some preferences that others may have, some scenarios and then at the end I’ll list all my sources (most of them will probably be Evie Lupine @Youtube, if you’re into DDLG/Pet Play or any kinda D/S stuff, I highly recommend subscribing to her!)
A/B/O in fanfiction
As earlier stated A/B/O is most alive and kicking on fanfiction sights like A03 or Fanfiction.net where it is undoubtedly a ‘guilty pleasure’ for many people, I’m inferring this because A/B/O fics usually get quite a lot of attention, at least where I usually hang out on a03.
Common tropes: heats, Omegas having less status than Alphas, Betas being underappreciated, knotting, scent marking, biting/claiming, mpreg, pregnancy in general, borderline unhealthy possessiveness.
Uncommon tropes: I’d say ruts, usually there’s more of a focus on omegas and their heats, this usually always ends up with a dubcon tag (which I’ve never been 100 per cent comfy with), alphas being soft.
Why do I think A/B/O is always an interesting fanfic trope/kink?
I know A/B/O generally has a pretty bad rap but there are some good fanfics that don’t play on the toxicity of the 80 percent of tasteless smut. It’s the good fanfics that I stay for, trust me I’ve gone through many many bad A/B/O fanfics but there are some genuinely good writers out there that write bad ass A/B/O fics with strong Omega leads and nurting supportive Alphas, there’s one that really got me into the trope which is Overcoming by purefoysgirl on A03 (seriously I cannot recommend it more, the pairing is Hannigram and there are some dark themes in there but the writing is excellent!!!!! and it’s a nice long read which has been saved to my iPad for a while now, I’ve probably read it around 4-5 times and I know it sounds like nothing but this fic is not short π If you want to check it out, see if A/B/O is something you might like to read, the link down below (best A/B/O fanfic I’ve ever read)
Pet play: Types of, Roleplay/Scenes, Links between other D/S dynamics, other general stuff (Training, owners, collars, spectrum of pet activities and behaviours)
Pet Play: Usually sexual roleplaying involving Owner/Puppy, Owner/Kitty, Owner/Pet etc. The main stipulation is that one person is either an “owner” or playing the “owner” of the other person, or the submissive person is a “pet” or playing the “pet” of the dominant. Both people involved are ALWAYS adults and ALWAYS human.
So, above is general definition of Pet play courtesy of urban dictionary (my wonderful friend and favourite resource) I mean just look at what it says about my name, George “A person who would kickyou out of the party for playing Justin Bieber“. However I think that everyone should have their own personal definition of what their kink entails/means to them, so I’ll just haha stick that below :3
The act of being treated like a pet by your dominant and being in a puppy headspace. This headspace allows ‘total submission’ and works based on a rewards/praise and punishment system. Being in Puppy space means the pet (typically submissive) cannot communicate with words, cannot do typically human things (including but not exclusive to; standing up, using fingers, eating with fingers/cutlery and being on furniture) basically for all intents and purposes the pet is required to act as an animal pet would for the time they are engaged in play, with exception to sexual things.
My personal definition of Pet play
Everyone has different hard and soft limits in BDSM, it’s the same thing in pet play! whilst one pet may like being caged, another may not, all this can tie in with your pet personality, for example you may play at being domesticated e.g. a puppy or a kitten and therefore prefer to be caged to fit in with the roleplay or you may be a stray who has not yet been trained. I haven’t really had a chance to explore my pet personality aside from knowing pretty much straight away that it’s puppy play I’m interested in, for me it is roleplay but not intricate role play for example, I’d be my owner/dom’s pup more generally and certain scenes could happen occasionally but it’d be more of a lifestyle thing I’m thinking at the moment where as other pets may like playing in different scenarios like being a stray picked up by a nice stranger etc.
I think every pet has one of two things they do to get into the pet mindset, mine is definitely my collar it really relaxes me and it’s symbolic of being owned by someone. As for less physical Pup space triggers, any kind of praise that you’d give a dog, Good boy always gets me! and commands, holy shit commands man. See look how excited (not sexually guys geez!) I’m getting at the thought of being told to fucking sit! Ahhh pup brain.
So what types of pets have we got? Typically you got three categories; Domestic animals, Farm animals and ‘exotic’ animals (Thanks Evie Lupine for the term). Domestic animals include; Kittens, Puppies, Hamsters, Bunnies, (any kind of domesticated pet you can think of). Farm animals is pretty self explanatory but stuff like cows, pigs, ponies, etc. Exotic animals are more interesting because usually most pets are one of the mainstream three, Kittens, Pups and Ponies but ‘exotic’ pets can range from birds to big cats.
The type of pet you are can also link in with what kinda role play you like and what gear you like (although everyone has a preference for that too!) all BDSM stuff is very personalised, I mean yanno the whole ‘different strokes for different folks’ and all!
I’m gonna keep referencing Pup play because I don’t have much knowledge of other types of play π but an example of a scenario/roleplay would be “Your *insert preferred name for dominant* may have just come home from work, you’re excited to see them but you know you have to earn their attention, what way you choose to do this is entirely up to you! maybe you’re well trained and know what kinda tricks to do or maybe you prefer to get their attention in more…ahem intimate ways (wink wonk)”
So gear, arguably one of the most important parts of pet play! as previously stated gear is a preference and we do not invalidate based on amount of gear/gear preferences, inner community shaming isn’t cute guys.
Types of gear, so depending on which you prefer there’s differing levels of, I guess you could say intensity. I’m going to outline pros and cons really loosely because I don’t have really any gear at all and I’m just going on common sense. The most comfortable I’d probably say is the collar, depending on the material (I find leather more comfy that ribbon/silk and it tends to get me into Pupspace way easier because it is the kind of collar a dog would wear, in fact it’s a real arse collar. Me and Rob actually got the same one! although obviously their purposes are naturally differing).
Standard Collar
(I’m gonna do a little collar talk later)
Pros: usually made of pretty comfortable materials, easy to take on and off for play, can wear some variant of it in public if you’re a lifestyle pet or if you just appreciate the aesthetic, they are also pretty bendable and so quite easy to hide if you still live at home or live in a shared space.
Cons: if you don’t like pressure on your neck or restraint its not the best idea, it can be hard to find collars that are your size unless you go on Etsy or some place where custom collars are available, they can also be uncomfortable (depending on personal preference).
A metal/silver collar, from what I can gather these are used mainly for lifestyle pets and for collaring ceremonies (which I don’t know much about admittedly) Ribbon type collar, super cute, super good for any kind of subspace and usually they’re pretty cheap. Comfy, comfy, comfy Aaaaaaaaaaa
Standard Leash
Pros: Really easy way to get into pupspace!, not uncomfortable at all (you’ll barely feel it attached to your collar unless it’s tugged ;)), good way to get into pet activity with minimal effort
Cons: Are there any? I guess it’d get in the way if you were to shower? but other than that not much comes to mind.
Chain leash (The most common kinda leash I’ve seen)
Fully leather/faux leather leash, my collar has this leash :3
Hood
(I did a little research for this, so some pets like fur (fur ears, fur tail etc) whereas some prefer leather/rubber gear, me personally I like fur but wouldn’t be opposed to a leather pup hood, they’re super cute and aesthetically pleasing!!
Pros: More ‘authentic’ for pup play, you’ll physically look more puppylike and this might be preferable, leather and rubber gear tend to be more ‘obvious’ and accepted in the community.
Cons: I’m guessing they can be pretty expensive (anywhere from Β£30+), harder to hide, more restrictive (could also be an advantage!), looks pretty hot in there so could be sweaty.
A unique type of hood! I love the floppiness of the ears π An example of a rubber pup :), I find rubber offers a level of detail that maybe leather and fur doesn’t.
Harness
(mainly used by ponies but aren’t really restricted to certain types of pet)
Pros: LOOKS SO GOSH DARN PRETTY (I guess that more of an opinion than a pro but this is my article :p), pretty comfy depending on the type of harness, very good for getting in pony space
Cons: Not always that relevant to other types of pet play, can be pretty expensive (especially if its leather), sizing could be difficult especially if you’re a chubby bubbie like me :3.
Less pet specific harness examplePony play! probably the most notorious for harness use π
Ears, Ears, Ears!
Basic faux fur ears Pup ears! I find they’re so much harder to find and it makes me so saddddddd
Pros: Fluffy, Soft, hella cute, makes you look super submissive, can be cheap depending on the material and where you get it from.
Cons: Can get uncomfortable after a while of wearing them depending on what headband you have, not as widely accepted in the community from what I’ve heard pup wise, leather pups are the most well known/well understood kind of pup, can be expensive if you’re going for detail.
Pros: Really simple way to get into pet space, aesthetically pleasing, makes bum waggling look wayyyyy better, can be tugged gently just like collars, lots of different fastening choices (elastic, ribbon, butt plug etc)
Cons: expense, especially if you wanna match your tail and your ears, latter two will take training and can’t really be worn in public (effort/time consuming at first), can get you mistaken for a furry (not that that’s a bad thing its just awkward to explain you’re into pet play not the furry fandom)
The Link between Pets, Littles and Slaves
Pets, slaves and littles all have one thing in common, they’re all submissive denominations, I’ll go over some nice George penned (and ‘official’) definitions for the sake of any novice novices and for the sake of my point.
Slave: the title of a sub in a Master/Slave Dynamic, there are different kinds of M/S dynamic including ‘Gorean’ M/S, Sexual M/S and non-sexual (by this I mean, the master and the slave do not sleep together, although the slave or master may get pleasure from playing their role)
“Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The Master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.[4]“- Wikipedia (see source list for link)
Slaves like most sub denominations can be either part-time, occasional or lifestyle but from what I can gather it is slaves and masters who tend to be more life-style typical, slaves alike to pets may be interested in how humiliation works in the dynamic, for example as a pup a certain amount of patronisation/humiliation is expected although the amount the sub wants involved of course varies (me personally I’d only really be chill with my dominant humiliating me not anyone else, I embarrass easily!). A slave may generally like a lot of humiliation as slave/master dynamics are often founded in inferiority/superiority (alike pet play, the pet is generally ‘below’ or inferior to their owner).
Littles: the title of a submissive in a CGL (the gender neutral term) dynamic (this includes DDLG, DDLB, MDLG/LB etc), some Age regressors refer to themselves as littles but regression is at its core a non-sexual practice, if you ‘regress’ and do the sex, it’s not really Agere it’s CGL although you can be into both. For the sake of simplicity when I refer to Littles I refer strictly to age players. Also I’m pretty sure ABDL is something to do with CGL as well but I’m hella lazy and can’t be arsed to explain.
A little is often the submissive partner of CGL relationship, though littles can be single too. Littles are often called names like baby girl or baby boy and princess or prince. They are more childish than their real age. For example, a 20 year old acting like a toddler. They often love colouring, stuffed animals, and watching cartoons. Depending on the age of the little, they may also require sippy cups and or pacifiers. More regressed littles will have a lisp. They often require rules such as bed time and punishments for doing something wrong. Many times, littles will be associated with other’s called ‘caregivers.’ These caregivers can be female or male and are often referred to as ‘mommy’ or ‘daddy.’
The link? Most pets, specifically ponies or kittens like to be cute or in some cases shy, little’s are typically like this too! I honestly think pet play dips into many different aspects of submission and domination and I really like how flexible it is.
Trainers, Owners, Collaring and pet activities :3
Sometimes a pet may be ‘trained’ by their owner, as aforementioned most pets call their dominant their owner although this isn’t always the case, the use of Miss/Sir or Daddy/Mommy can also be used, people label their doms however they like.
Some typical pet activities include (the ones with an asterisk are the ones I have either tried and the ones with two are the ones I will try):
Bondage* (restriction of movement including but not exclusively use of collar, leash or harness)
Non-verbal communication*, a pet usually cannot speak, this is one of the easier ways to get into pet space but also super hard at times, especially if you’re vocal in the bedroom π
Eating/Drinking out of pet bowls* (metal dog bowls etc, usually brought from a pet shop)
Going to the toilet in a space other than the toilet, this may be outside (in your/your dom’s gardens usually haha) or in a litterbox
Playing with pet toys** (e.g. a tug of war, a squeaky toy etc)
Training activities (this is where it gets fun! Pets often need training, a dog won’t always obey its owner or they may be taught tricks, human pets are just the same, an important part of getting into pet headspace is acting as a pet would)
Engaging in typical pet behaviour* (touched upon in the previous bullet point, typical pet behaviour depends on the exact pet, Pups= whining (I do this a lotttt),barking, Kittens= meowing, purring etc, Ponies= whiny)
Linking to bondage, caging, some pets like to be caged (adds to headspace, reminds them that they aren’t the ones in control e.g. power play)
“When it comes to eating actual animal food, while it is okay for perhaps a short scene, it is not safe to do so on a regular basis. Humans have different nutritional needs than animals do, and it is incredibly important to get your nutritional needs met. There are many ways to simulate animal food and treats such as mashing up meatloaf with ketchup, using stews or even baking treats in the shapes of bones and such. However, for any long-term play, Eukanuba, Purina and any other brand of animal food you use, are for canines and felines, not humans.
If you choose to use training and/or shock collars, please, read the instructions!”
If you put your pup slave into a kennel, please keep in mind that they are very cramped. You do not want your pup slave to be damaged from being in that position for long periods of time.
If the submissive has had their ability to move and speak restricted it is incredibly important that some form of communication is available to them so that they may communicate if something has happened and/or gone wrong, both physically and emotionally.
Also, in my opinion having a human pet can add some responsibility to the Dom because when some of the submissive’s humanity is taken away and especially if their communication is restricted, the Dominant must that much more aware of the submissive’s frame of mind.” – https://www.submissiveguide.com/dsrelationships/articles/pet-play-human-pets-primer
The spectrum of pet play dum dum dumβ¦
Like a lot of other kinks PP has a spectrum! from the more ‘extreme’ to the more ‘mainstream’ (well mainstream for the pet community haha).
“In more extreme cases, a human pet may wear masks or prosthetics or undergo bondage-based body modifications to more closely resemble the animal. Masters might restrict their pet’s movements by keeping them in a cage or off the furniture or force them to use a litter box rather than a human toilet” – https://www.kinkly.com/definition/5064/animal-play-bdsm
The above mentioned activities are ‘extreme’ subjectively, whilst a more mainstream pet may see it as extreme, a pet who does it regularly may not, subjectively people π
Relating to the above that’s a new thing for me, but it sounds pretty legit (by that I mean, typical pup behaviour, at least in certain roleplays) I’ve also heard of breeding roleplays (Oi oi Evie Lupine) in which owners may ‘breed’ their pets as real owners would (of course all of this would be consensual and pre discussed)
Roles (Alpha, Omega, Beta), pack dynamics and common definitions.
Alpha: the pup who is the ‘top dog’ no pun intended, they are pack leaders but their most important job is to look after all the pups in the pack.
Omega: The most submissive role in a pack
Beta: A pup who is submissive to the alpha in the pack
Hood: a piece of typical leather pup gear that is used to help a pup get into pup space.
Collar: signifies a pup is taken.
A Pack: A group of pups and/or handlers.
Toys: “Any other toy used to play with a pup (sexual or non-sexual)” – Taken from a blog post on puppy pride
Mosh: when a group of pups/dogs play together
Puppy: A person who identifies more with being playful and less about obedience (I suppose a well trained pup could evolve into a dog)
Dog: A person who identifies more with being obedient and not so much with being playful.
Handlers: the person that takes care of the pup, Idk if they would also count as being your dom, I think it’s dependant on how sexual pet play is for the individual.
Trainers: Someone who trains puppies in matters of obedience.
From what I can gather a pack can be structured in many different ways,
Pet Play + me (as if I haven’t talked enough about my opinions)
How: So the main way I found PP (Pup play shortened), was through this blog, yep. On my travels I came across Pet play and found myself intrigued by it, previously I had found unflattering portrayals of it but I was interested in the dynamic of a pet/owner and the way it could work for me in relation to A/B/O (Yes my Pup play does have many A/B/O features, because really A/B/O is my main kink and all my other kinks are either a part of that or can tie into it in someway). I started looking into things and the gear that I found so terrifying at the beginning of my journey I now find very aesthetically pleasing and ultimately symbolic of an ideal intimate relationship.
Why: I just do, haha no, don’t worry we’ll go into it properly, Pup space is very soothing, its nice to only have a singular goal; to please your master/owner, that’s very therapeutic to me, not having to worry about stupid adulty stuff.
Current gear/how I utilise it: I have a leather collar and lead (the collar isn’t super comfortable but the lead is lovely, the texture is nice and would be excellent for sensory stuff), I also recently got a really comfy fabric collar (an actual dog collar is always preferable to me, not only does it make me feel more pup-like but its far more masculine I find, lace/ribbon collars are beautiful but tend to be more geared towards a female audience, plus there’s something nice and ritualistic about being put into a collar), I also have a onesie which I plan to use for both agere (sfw) and as a comfy way for me to be a pup (seeing as most pups like to be either naked, in leather or partially naked), I also have some husky ears on the way (most pups choose a pup/dog to model themselves after, mine choice is a husky)
Dream Gear/ Gear that I want
A harness just as heckin’ pretty as the one above!!!!!Nuff said! They’re just so adorable, like can you imagine your pet running past you and all you see is a fluffy tail.
These are my dream ears! They’re from an TheApisShop on etsy More collars! and leashes, I love the one I have now but red is not my colour lol I don’t know what type of collar this is but it is beautifulas many restraints as I can possibly get, I have a feeling all my gear will be sub leaning although I’ll probably get a cane somewhere along the line!!Knee pads! I’m gonna be on my hands and knees a lot, especially if I end up a lifestyle pup
Some super helpful sources (these will be ongoing and new stuff will inevitably be added)
Vandalised “Dog On Leash Only” sign amended to refer to dogging, Kennington Park, London, 2012
Disclaimer: this series consists simply of my own opinions, because they are my own I don’t mean to offend or shame anyone.
Rule number one of any BDSM act: SSC (Safe Sane and Consensual)
The definition of exhibitionism refers to putting one’s genitals out on display in public. Plenty of people are turned on by the idea that they’re being watched. But, if putting yourself on sexual show is what floats your boat, there are all kinds of great options for exploring this in a safe and mutually consensual fashion.
Exhibitionism is one of those kinda mainstream kinks that I’ve thinking about lately, I was very curious to find out what the big deal was. Exhibitionist acts can range from skinny dip at midnight to car sex by the side of the road and it’s generally something most people enjoy (you might have made out in the school toilets when you were young) and the thrill of getting caught is at the core of the attraction of exhibitionism.
I won’t lie, I can see the appeal in it, it’s a pretty exciting prospect. Your hands down your partner’s trousers, the other ones over their mouth to keep them quiet. Appealing. But like all kink play you can cross a line with that, I guess the issue with exhibitionism is where you draw the metaphorical line. It’s not okay to expose strangers to your bits and bobs or your partners, especially not in very public places like shops or restaurants, it is okay to roleplay an exhibitionist situation (although I wouldn’t know much about how to carry that out, I’m sure you could find other consenting adults voyeurs)
I recently watched an all4 documentary called The secret tales of dogging (I’m paraphrasing, it was called something to that effect ) and I found a peculiar world that I never knew existed, now due to obvious reasons the behaviour of the people in the documentary wasn’t legal.
See definition of dogging below (allegedly it’s a British thing too)…
This is where people meet up in car parks and watch each other having sex. Sometime other people join in, but its mainly about watching and getting off on it!
So from what I can tell dogging is a mix of Voyeurism and Exibitionism, there were a wide variety of masked ‘doggers’ in the documentary including a secure couple, a not so secure couple and a lonely truck driver looking for no strings attached sex.
Like most ‘natural’ aspects of Voyeurism and Exhibitionism dogging can be non-consensual depending on which position you are in (I prefer cowgirl myself π jk). If you are the watcher and those you’re watching did not give consent/or are not aware of your presence then it’s dodgy, don’t do it. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting off to other people getting off or getting off to someone watching you get off, there is something wrong with watching people without their consent. I mention this because one of the things that got one of the documentary participants into it was an experience he had whilst having relations with his girlfriend in his car, he looked up and there were men watching them. I don’t know about you but that would freak me out!
Rating (10 being of great person preference, 0 being not at all ever a consideration): 2/10, I don’t like to rule anything out but its super unlikely I’d ever be into voyeurism, dogging or exhibitionism on a proper kink level (meaning I’d consider it an everyday kink), I wouldn’t rule out outdoor sex though but probably just in the privacy of my own garden lol.
But having said all that, as usual, no shaming! embrace what ticks your box people!!!
I have always loved the thought of using women as items of furniture… I guess it is the thought of having such a powerful sexual being totally under control
Jeff Gord
Key:
*= George’s comments
+= Rob’s comments
Firstly, we discovered the death of Jeff Gord the coiner of the term Forniphilia and read a very interesting deviant art thread on the state of his fanbase (which isn’t great) and encountered some salty critics that were angry at the lack of nudity in his work.
When exploring house of Gord we noticed that there was a severe lack of male content (*I for one am very disappointed that I can’t see Jude Law as a chair*)
Although demonstrating a questionable sense of misogyny, it is clearly a prevalent part of the community, others such as Allen Jones having been labelled as such by media outlets such as the Independent. However how far can one kink really go, should we allow this anti-progressive attitude to go unchecked for the sake of personal pleasure.
If the so called ‘battle of the sexes’ went unaddressed, this issue surely wouldn’t be at the forefront of forniphilia content.
The house of Gord website displays a very interchangeable narrative that flits between borderline sexist and borderline feminist. It does however address SSC rule of BDSM which cements it as a trustworthy aspect of ‘fetlife’
Upon browsing the comic archives we found, we felt a profound sense of enlightenment. +”This is my new religion”+
I shared Rob’s sentiments and found it liberating to view content that was not up my metaphorical alley.
Moving on to Mr Allen Jones…
We found him to be less sexual and more artistic, our resident female commented that to the outsider the ‘art’ seemed to be inherently sexist but worked in the confines of its genre. The self professed feminist defended his works despite the initial and ongoing controversy.
Ratings
Jeff Gord;
RR:4/10 “He attempts to dictate how the dynamic should work in this kind of relationship and I think it should be down to the individuals to come to an agreement. The art was funny and it made laugh. that’s why it was a 4”
GS: 3/10 “Points for an interesting overview of forniphilia and for being the creator/founder of a revolutionary porn movement however I found his work to be more sleazy than tasteful and more explicit than implicit which is not to my usual taste”
Allen Jones
RR: 7/10 “Old gramps seems a bit of a misunderstood guy just like his art; often his context of his work is being forgotten or re-interpreted as an attack on women but really he just likes women as chairs and other objects. Very very good models and sculptures”
GS: 7/10 “Allen demonstrated a ground breaking innovative artistic view way back in the oppression of the 70s, I appreciate his art as it is, art. and I favour the stance he takes on the meaning behind it. I found it much more tasteful and aesthetically pleasing. Well done Mr Jones!”
Disclaimer: this series consists simply of our own opinions, because they are our own we don’t mean to offend or shame anyone. Bare in mind we are new to the ‘kink scene’ and a bit of amateur humour is to be expected.
RR:My brother took the mickey out of my name here, ‘Raunchy Robert’, being a ‘cowboy’s name’, so he has unwittingly inspired me to make a ‘Kinklopedia’ page all about (*drum roll*)…
Cowboy Fetishism.
“Yee HOW, partner! We’re in for a root’n, toot’n time!”
(Also, sorry for all the Wikipedia-sourced info; this topic is surprisingly hard to research into!)
“The cowboy is an icon, a hypermasculine, towering paragon of Manhood. The jaunty smirk staring across a rolling plain; the spurs glinting above a steed’s taut haunches; sun-bleached chaps; sunburned noses. Cowboys wield guns, rope calves, quaff whiskey by the glass growler-full. They swagger and spit. They make ardent love to golden-hearted whores before tipping their hat and heading back to the border. They trounce bandits and battle Indians. They’re this absurdβand undeniably arrestingβmanifestation of virility, of cartoonish masculinity. They’re brooding, barbaric, cunning, and cold. They’re squinting into the sun and we’re dropping trou. If you’re into that sort of thing.”
At the tip of my research iceberg, it appears a lot of the visual appeal is open-shirted cowboys with abs. But I am a thorough individual, so we’re going to ride this one through until the cows come home. We must delve deeper.
I checked out Wikipedia’s list of paraphilias to start to see if there was a formal DSM code for this fetish, but it seems there is not. So, that rules out any formal psychology research this time.
For starters, ‘Brokeback Mountain’ is arguably the OG cowboy fetish film.
This is some good exposure for LGBT cowboy interpretations; many interpretations of cowboys are ‘hypermasculine’, and therefore follow patriarchal relationship dynamics and systems. This film, however, challenges this by presenting the characters Jack and Ennis.
“Reviewers, critics, and the cast and crew disagreed as to whether the film’s two protagonists were homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual, or should be free of any sexual orientation classification. The film was frequently referred to in the media as the “gay cowboy movie”, but a number of reviewers noted that both Jack and Ennis were bisexual. Sex researcher Fritz Klein said that the film was “a nice film with two main characters who were bisexual” and suggested that the character of Jack is more “toward the gay side” of the spectrum and Ennis is “a bit more toward the straight side”.”
“LGBT non-fiction author Eric Marcus dismissed “talk of Ennis and Jack being anything but gay as box office-influenced political correctness intended to steer straight audiences to the film”. Roger Ebert concluded that both characters were gay, but doubted it themselves: “Jack is able to accept a little more willingly that he is inescapably gay.” The film’s producer, James Schamus, said, “I suppose movies can be Rorschach tests for all of us, but damn if these characters aren’t gay to me.” Annie Proulx, whose story is the basis of the film, said “how different readers take the story is a reflection of their own personal values, attitudes, hang-ups.”.”
Despite the bickering between people about what’s gay and what’s not, it is definitely evident that Jack is a bottom and Ennis is a top.
However, it appears bickering about the characters goes on further back to the original author of Brokeback Mountain:
“Annie Proulx, author of the original 1997 short story, said a few years after the film’s release, “I wish I’d never written it,” because she has been sent too much fan fiction presenting alternative plots:
[The film] is the source of constant irritation in my private life. There are countless people out there who think the story is open range to explore their fantasies and to correct what they see as an unbearably disappointing story.
She said the authors, mostly men who claim to “understand men better than I do”, often send her their works:
“They constantly send ghastly manuscripts and pornish rewrites of the story to me, expecting me to reply with praise and applause for “fixing” the story. They certainly don’t get the message that if you can’t fix it you’ve got to stand it. Most of these “fix-it” tales have the character Ennis finding a husky boyfriend and living happily ever after, or discovering the character Jack is not really dead after all, or having the two men’s children meet and marry, etc., etc.”.”
…So it appears a whole lot of drama is going on behind the scenes! Seems hard to believe for a film like this one.
(RR: This to me seems to be a case of a fandom crossing the line a bit. It’s perfectly okay to write ‘fix-it’ fan fictions and such, but please refrain from bombarding the original author (or creator of the content on which you are making the fan fiction), as it can lead them to having negative opinions like this about their fandom.)
It appears that the biggest platform for this kink particularly is in written forms, as many such books have crossed my path. So, off we go to the written world of AO3!:
AO3 has an additional tags page for cowboy kinks, so that’s a good start. After sifting though, I keep seeing the name Dean Winchester. Who is he? let’s find out.
Dean Winchester is from “Supernatural”, yet another show I have neglected to watch. Though, from trawling through the fandom wiki, I have found out that he has died a bunch of times in the series from odd causes such as “choked on a sausage”, “poisoned by a taco” and “mauled by a golden retriever.”
This is the dog that apparently somehow managed to maul this character to death.
So far, Dean is not really coming off to me as “a hypermasculine, towering paragon of Manhood”.
…Then I found a particular episode:
“Frontierland is the 18th episode of Season 6. It aired on April 22nd, 2011.”…
“At the saloon, Dean starts to see that life in the Old West is less romantic than he thought: it’s dirty, the whiskey is terrible, and the saloon girls are less than healthy.”
“As they’re talking, a sex worker named Darla approaches and tries to seduce Dean, but the judge who read Elias his sentence shows up and takes her upstairs.”
Seems pretty cowboy-ish, and also fits the bill for something thirsty fans of Supernatural could crank out some rule 34 content for.
Then I went on DeviantArt and found an actual goldmine of cowboy content. If you’re into this, this is the place to be (but in all honesty, you can find pretty much anything on DA).
I’m just glad that I haven’t come across any weird fanart of Sheriff Woody.
“Yee-how partner, wanna go for a ride in the water-hole- with me?”
…No thanks, Woody.
RR: Well, aside from all that, I think this kink’s pretty self-explanatory. Some people like a Sheriff as they do people in other professions. Pretty tame for a kink overall, I’d even say. They fit the bill of a tough guy, a bad boy but also a good guy all in one, so I can see why people are into this.I’m really surprised that I didn’t come across any ‘BDSM cowboy whipping’ on DA, but I probably wasn’t looking hard enough.My eyes will never have to bare witness to this, as I can confirm that this isn’t really my cup of tea; whips or not.
Test 1, the infamous BDSM Test, I will admit I have taken this test many times in the past (out of boredom and weird peer pressure) and I’ve always found it knows more about me than I do myself.
Accurate: Brat tamer ( I like a challenge what can I say π ), Brat (Yeah totally, I’m cheeky anyways), Switch (Yep 100 percent), Daddy (Alright with it, have more of a preference to sir but it’s chill either way), Dom, Sub,
Open to: Master (intriguing for sure), Rope Bunny, Primal (Hunter, I do like a good bite haha), Masochist, Owner, Degrader, Experimentalist, Rigger, Sadism.
Inaccurate : There is only one thing on there I wouldn’t agree with and that’s Ageplay, it personally doesn’t really appeal to me, I have no issue being someone’s daddy but age play (my partner acting a certain age) doesn’t really enter into that for me.
Score: 4/5
Test 2, sexualalpha.com
Accurate: okay seriously, everything I am such a terrible cringe romantic and I get way too caught up in senses when I’m with someone, it’s very hard for me to stay focused on my partner (not because they’re not lovely but because I’m a worrier, so naturally I’m torn between fretting about the weird sounds I’m making and whether or not I’m doing it right)
Inaccurate: Nothing!
Score: 5/5
Test 3, Beiter sexuality preference indicator (very scientific)
Accurate: Again, I’d say this is very accurate, I place more value in emotional/romantic connections than physical ones and care more for my partner’s wellbeing than my own, I do tend to be more submissive generally than dominant although I do reign in a lot of my dom tendencies, I am both habitual and adventurous (if we’re willing and everything is in place to be safe then why the eff not?) although I am a sucker for routine especially in longer term relationships.
Inaccurate: Only thing I’d think would be a little more of a slice would be physical, I can be physical I just need the longstanding emotional connection beforehand.
Score: 4/5
Last but not least Test 4, submissiveplayground
I won’t lie to you that picture made me laugh, this was a very interesting test to take and I’m glad there’s both dom and sub specific tests to take.
Accurate: 100 per cent, I’m a huge brat, if I wasn’t cheeky I would be me and I like the idea of being ‘forced’ to submit.
Inaccurate: Nothing
Score: 4/5
Summary: All four of these tests were super accurate, obviously there were some little things that I didn’t feel were accurate but how much can you categorise human sexuality? For online tests with pretty rigid questions and answers (aside from the bdsm test) they produced good results and I’m happy with the results I’ve drawn from this little exploration.