A proper Dominant will implement discipline from a position of love and acceptance, not condemnation or control.

— Mel Ferrier

This is my very first post and I am admittedly excited to be popping the metaphorical blogging cherry, so what will we delight in discussing today?

*drum roll* domestic dominance/submission, I stumbled across this term when on A03 trying to find fluffy 00Q fanfics, and although not all that fluffy, the fanfiction did pique my interest. It depicted a dom/sub relationship not known to me, all I had knowledge of was the typical sexual side of d/s.

I looked at this topic predominantly from the view of a dom, relating back to my platonic/romantic view first, I saw a healthy and supportive dom sub relationship in which the dom was tasked more so with domestic/mental duties instead of sexual duties, this included cooking, reminding the sub to do simple things that they may or may not struggle to do and ensuring that in their absence their sub was taken care of, that’s not to say this isn’t a common occurrence in many d/s relationships rather it was an aspect that was not widely ‘advertised’ so to speak.

Before delving into my opinion of DDS (Domestic Dominance/submission) I’d like to state that this is not related to domestic discipline (HoH) which is defined as ‘a submissive heterosexual marriage lifestyle that encourages husbands to spank their wives for mistakes or misbehaviour’ (https://www.verywellmind.com/loving-correction-or-domestic-violence-2300585) which I may or may not delve into at a later time, purely out of mild curiosity.

Now that’s all sorted, let’s define it, or I’ll state my interpretation of what I’d define it to be.

Domestic Dominance: not to be confused with Domestic Discipline, Domestic Dominance refers to the ‘softer’ side of dominance in which the dom may take more of a romantic/platonic caretaker role with less of a focus on sexual activity or punishment.

So, what’s are ‘domestic dom duties’? I believe it depends on the needs of either party involved, if both parties are into it then that’s great and if one is more than the other or there is a dispute then compromise is necessary just like all good relationships.

I’m slightly selfish so you bet I’m going to use myself as an example but if anyone else wants to share their preferences go ahead and comment down below! I’d love to hear your opinions 🙂

DD preferences for me depend on which side of the coin we’re looking at, when being a dom, I like to ‘provide’ for my sub, that usually consists of carrying stuff around, getting my sub things they need like clothes or food or warmth, just little things that ensure my partner is as comfortable as they can be (sue me I’m a romantic), but the biggest thing (when being both dom and sub) is the ability to calm, I’m prone to stress so when I’m stressed and in subspace I’d like to have to someone I trust to take control of the situation and make sure I’m taking care of myself, on the dom side I think it’s important to be in touch with your sub’s emotions and it’s nice to be able to take care of someone you care about in that way, in a way that allows them to be supported. Plus have you ever seen a sub who isn’t adorable when they’re tired? Or when they’re waking up in the morning?

Domestic dominance is definitely one of parts of d/s that I adore and hope to put into practice in the future, which side of the dynamic I’ll be most involved with I have no idea.

Finally, let’s talk punishment. Is it something than be incorporated into DD? I’d say so yes, of course it dependents on your own type of dom/sub relationship, if you’re a brat and punishment is commonplace then why not? Personally, I’d need many pre-punishment conversations and probably a contract between dom and sub to be comfortable receiving or giving punishments but if it was a good fit then sure I’d be down for it. Domestic dominance is also one of those things I think can be implemented into a platonic relationship prettily easily, after all you have love for your friends just as you do for your dom/sub partner. I’d personally love a platonic dom, maybe not a platonic sub unless it was one of my super close friends and they really needed a dom to ground them, then of course I’d be willing.

Summary: Domestic dominance is a fun part of D/S that could be good for ex-vanillas or people who are just starting to explore their preferred sexual dynamics, it is something that I myself am interested in exploring and will be added to my kink profile, it’s only a shame there isn’t more fluffy domestic dom fanfics out there haha.

Thank you for reading guys, gals and non-binary pals, tune in next time for more kink opinion pieces 🙂