A proper Dominant will implement discipline from a position of love and acceptance, not condemnation or control.

— Mel Ferrier

This is my very first post and I am admittedly excited to be popping the metaphorical blogging cherry, so what will we delight in discussing today?

*drum roll* domestic dominance/submission, I stumbled across this term when on A03 trying to find fluffy 00Q fanfics, and although not all that fluffy, the fanfiction did pique my interest. It depicted a dom/sub relationship not known to me, all I had knowledge of was the typical sexual side of d/s.

I looked at this topic predominantly from the view of a dom, relating back to my platonic/romantic view first, I saw a healthy and supportive dom sub relationship in which the dom was tasked more so with domestic/mental duties instead of sexual duties, this included cooking, reminding the sub to do simple things that they may or may not struggle to do and ensuring that in their absence their sub was taken care of, that’s not to say this isn’t a common occurrence in many d/s relationships rather it was an aspect that was not widely ‘advertised’ so to speak.

Before delving into my opinion of DDS (Domestic Dominance/submission) I’d like to state that this is not related to domestic discipline (HoH) which is defined as ‘a submissive heterosexual marriage lifestyle that encourages husbands to spank their wives for mistakes or misbehaviour’ (https://www.verywellmind.com/loving-correction-or-domestic-violence-2300585) which I may or may not delve into at a later time, purely out of mild curiosity.

Now that’s all sorted, let’s define it, or I’ll state my interpretation of what I’d define it to be.

Domestic Dominance: not to be confused with Domestic Discipline, Domestic Dominance refers to the ‘softer’ side of dominance in which the dom may take more of a romantic/platonic caretaker role with less of a focus on sexual activity or punishment.

So, what’s are ‘domestic dom duties’? I believe it depends on the needs of either party involved, if both parties are into it then that’s great and if one is more than the other or there is a dispute then compromise is necessary just like all good relationships.

I’m slightly selfish so you bet I’m going to use myself as an example but if anyone else wants to share their preferences go ahead and comment down below! I’d love to hear your opinions 🙂

DD preferences for me depend on which side of the coin we’re looking at, when being a dom, I like to ‘provide’ for my sub, that usually consists of carrying stuff around, getting my sub things they need like clothes or food or warmth, just little things that ensure my partner is as comfortable as they can be (sue me I’m a romantic), but the biggest thing (when being both dom and sub) is the ability to calm, I’m prone to stress so when I’m stressed and in subspace I’d like to have to someone I trust to take control of the situation and make sure I’m taking care of myself, on the dom side I think it’s important to be in touch with your sub’s emotions and it’s nice to be able to take care of someone you care about in that way, in a way that allows them to be supported. Plus have you ever seen a sub who isn’t adorable when they’re tired? Or when they’re waking up in the morning?

Domestic dominance is definitely one of parts of d/s that I adore and hope to put into practice in the future, which side of the dynamic I’ll be most involved with I have no idea.

Finally, let’s talk punishment. Is it something than be incorporated into DD? I’d say so yes, of course it dependents on your own type of dom/sub relationship, if you’re a brat and punishment is commonplace then why not? Personally, I’d need many pre-punishment conversations and probably a contract between dom and sub to be comfortable receiving or giving punishments but if it was a good fit then sure I’d be down for it. Domestic dominance is also one of those things I think can be implemented into a platonic relationship prettily easily, after all you have love for your friends just as you do for your dom/sub partner. I’d personally love a platonic dom, maybe not a platonic sub unless it was one of my super close friends and they really needed a dom to ground them, then of course I’d be willing.

Summary: Domestic dominance is a fun part of D/S that could be good for ex-vanillas or people who are just starting to explore their preferred sexual dynamics, it is something that I myself am interested in exploring and will be added to my kink profile, it’s only a shame there isn’t more fluffy domestic dom fanfics out there haha.

Thank you for reading guys, gals and non-binary pals, tune in next time for more kink opinion pieces 🙂

Hi! a pleasure to meet you, I’m George and after many a conversation with my friends about the stigma of the kink community I have come here (my own little corner of the internet) to have a good old British chat about kinks. I hope you’ll enjoy my thoughts which will range from ‘What do I think of this kink?’ to ‘Anecdotes of switchdom’

Seeing as we’ll be getting personal, I suppose I’d better tell you a few of my own kinks, a little about my sexuality and some eye-opening experiences; after all I do want to promote less stigma and more of an open book policy.

I have recently discovered that on the Submissive to Dominant scale ( or Dominant to Submissive scale, I’m not too sure which way it goes) I am a switch, no this does not mean I do not have a preference , it means that I’m pretty flexible and tend to switch (haha pun) based on what my partner leans towards, an example of this is my latest ex-boyfriend was a bottom/submissive therefore I was more naturally suited to the dominant role.

• My sexuality is also quite fluid, at it’s simplest I’m a bisexual/Achillean, with a preference towards men.
• As well as being a newly labelled switch (80 Sub /20 Dom), I am personally very interested in the idea of platonic/romantic dominance and domestic dominance which I hope to write many articles on in the future
• Ironically I am not a hypersexual person, I prefer to make connections based on a pre-established mutual connection, that is not to say that I hold any judgement towards those who are the opposite (As long as everyone gives consent and is adult, I say go for it!!)

Mini profile;

• Likes: thriller books, classic lit, Pepsi, Madness, Arctic Monkeys, 80s films, Sociology, period fashion/language, cute people, biscuits, vanilla latte, spring, writing articles
• Dislikes: onions, zenophobes, Jam, 5o shades, bad fanfiction, matching socks, maths, summer, awkward social situations.
• Stereotype: The Weird/Eccentric quiet kid
• Goals: to raise awareness for kink exploration (it’s healthy to experiment and it should be presented as such), to explore my own kinks along the way.

Post ideas so far;

• ‘What do I think of that kink?’- Weekly post
• ‘Anecdotes of Switchdom’ – Whenever I have the experience, possibly tri-monthly
• ‘Mate Debates; Topic of the week’/Kinklopedia- Monthly, hopefully I can rope one of my friends into it (I did, oi oi big up Rob)

All there is to say now is thank you for finding switching with George and I hope you enjoy reading my posts as much as I know I’ll enjoy writing them.

I’ll leave you with my kink profile (which no doubt I’ll be adding to and taking from throughout my kink journey)

• Likes: Puppy play, Being sub (being a brat), being dom (I’m not 100% with being called daddy but it doesn’t bother me, sir is preferable), soft biting, light bondage (restraint), light choking, playful humiliation, love bites, any kind of sign of possession at all!, domestic domination, A/B/O, A/O Dynamics
• Dislikes: Blindfolds, sensory deprivation, heavy degradation…to be explored